HUSBANDS, WIVES, CHRIST & THE CHURCH

EPHESIANS 5:22-32

INTRODUCTION:

  1. Every man and woman enters a marriage with expectations about the future of the relationship.
  1. Some dreams are totally unrealistic.
  2. Most just represent the quest to be happy.
  3. One lady said, "When I married John, I thought it was ideal; it soon became an ordeal and now I want a new deal."
  1. 5,000 divorces are granted in this country every day!
  1. Disintegrating marriages threaten the health of the nation.
  2. Edward A Gibbon in "The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire" says that the break-up of the family and the influx of divorce led to the fall.
  1. It has long been known that to destroy a nation, you destroy the home.
  1. 40% of couples in our country are living together without marriage.
  2. The entertainment media portrays marriage as an outdated ineffectve relic of the past.
  3. One contributing factor is that the majority of our population has never seen the true blessing that holy matrimony can become.
  4. Marriage can be heaven in your home.
  1. There is not found in all of the Bible a more exalted and sublime description of marriage than the one presented by the Apostle Paul in Ephesians 5:22-32.
  2. In Jewish culture, this was during a time when divorce was tragically easy,
  1. Women were treated as mere property to be thrown away at the whim of the husband/owner
  2. The typical Jewish male would thank the Lord each morning that he was not born a Gentile, a Slave or a Woman.
  3. Women had no legal rights, but was the husband’s possession.
  1. In the Greek culture: Prostitution was a normal part of life; Women of the respectable classes were completely secluded. They took no part in public life, were never seen in public alone, and husbands who had mistresses were commonplace.
  2. Rome was no better. Seneca wrote that women were married to be divorced and divorced to be married. Jerome declared that he knew of a woman who had married her 23rd husband and she was his 21st wife!
  3. It was against this background that Paul wrote Ephesians 5:22-32.
  1. It was an attempt to call people to a higher level of purity and fidelity in marriage.
  2. His words would speak liberation to woman who for centuries had been neglected and deprived of person-hood and a sense of importance.
  3. His words would breathe new life into a forsaken God-given institution.
  1. He sets out to accomplish his goal exalting the marriage relationship to the level where it belongs by comparing it to the relationship between Christ and the church.
  1. The church was indeed the bride of Christ (2Cor.11:2) and thus was due all the care and attention that a loving husband would provide.
  2. Likewise the groom deserved the respect and honor that any blushing bride would be proud to extend.
  3. Christ and His church became the model and pattern for every husband and wife to emulate.
  1. Paul show us five different aspects of love between husbands and wives:
  1. SUBMISSIVE LOVE
  1. 5:22-24
  2. Paul gives two reasons for the wife to submit to the husband
  1. The Lordship of Christ (22)
  2. The headship of man (23)
  3. When the wife submits tot he Lord, she will have no problem submitting to her husband.
  4. This does not make her a slave, for the husband too, must submit to Christ.
  5. When both husband and wife are living in harmony with Christ, the marriage will enjoy harmony also.
  1. Genesis 2:18-20, she was created to help him, to make him complete, to complement or aide him. She became the completion & fulfillment of his life.
  2. Her submission comes from her own freedom to love.
  1. It is voluntary, not from a sense of compulsion or fear.
  2. The church willingly submits to Christ in response to His love.
  3. The wife voluntarily submits to her husband in response to his love.
  1. Christ never intended for the woman to be a "doormat".
  1. She is to be treated with dignity, care, and the utmost respect.
  2. Deeper joys and blessings will follow when our marriages are following God’s pattern of submissiveness.
  1. SACRIFICIAL LOVE
  1. 5:25
  2. The husband who is pleasing to God, sacrifices himself for his wife.
  1. His interests, his will, his desires become secondary to hers.
  2. Jacob loved Rachel enough to sacrifice 14 years of his life for her.
  3. If a husband loves his wife in the true sense of the word, he will give of himself freely, not always having to have his own way.
  1. What does it mean to love someone?
  1. Eros- is romantic love . Most marriages begin with it but diminishes after 6 months to 2 years. If this is the only reason they married it usually doesn’t last.
  2. Phillia is companionship love. The couple learns to be friends, if they don’t the marriage hangs by a thin fragile thread. When eros love begins to fade, Phillia love can reinforce it or even enhance it.
  3. But it is Agape love that is the most sublime. It is the self-giving love, the one capable of giving totally of self. It has the capacity to rekindle erotic love and to deepen the friendship love of Phillia. Agape love is more than just a warm fuzzy feeling, it is an act of personal commitment. It chooses to love. It goes beyond the heart and comes from the mind and the will! Christ’s love for us was Agape love. We love Him because He first loved us (1Jno.4:19).
  1. A husband who exhibits this kind of love for his wife is totally unselfish.
  1. "Love seeks not its own" (1Cor.13:4,5).
  2. He’s not always demanding his rights, rather he willingly surrender his rights for the will and happiness of his wife. Romans 15:3, "For even Christ did not please Himself,"
  3. The Christian husband should always strive to bring love and fulfillment to his wife.
  1. SANCTIFYING LOVE
  1. 5:26
  2. Christ sanctifies us by separating us to God and removing sin and guilt at the time we are baptized.
  3. The process of purifying continues as the word finds its place in good and honest hearts.
  1. Jno.15:3- "You are clean through the word that I have spoken to you"
  2. Jno.17:17- Sanctify them by your truth, your word is truth.
  3. The scriptures provide the means by which a sinning Christian can be forgiven.
  1. The church is not perfect, it has spots and wrinkles. As the church is nourished by the word of God, the spots and wrinkles diminish. Like a beautiful bride the church in its ideal state is clean and youthful.
  2. The husbands love for his wife ought to have a purifying quality.
  1. He should never ask anything of her that would degrade her or harm her.
  2. He should help her maintain a clean and healthy mind and body.
  3. Any love which drags a person down is a phony love.
  4. Any love which coarsens instead of refining a person’s character is not real love.
  1. Husbands should never speak badly of their wives to others.
  1. Criticizing her cooking, her weight, her housework, in an effort to make her feel small and unimportant just causes her to wither and her love to die.
  2. Her mind becomes cluttered with anxiety and frustration and depression sets in.
  3. This is not true love. True love will always bless, beautify, sanctify and enrich the spirit of the other.
  1. SENSITIVE LOVE
  1. 5:28-29
  2. True love cherishes the one it loves.
  3. Jesus was sensitive to the condition of the lost world Matthew 9:36 to the point of dying for us.
  4. The loving husband is sensitive to the needs of his wife,
  1. The male has a need for identity, he needs to feel important, successful, accomplished, self-esteem is an important part of man’s emotional health. Wives who take the time to compliment her husband’s hard work, long hours, career advancements make him feel important and fills a very real need that he has.
  2. The wife has a greater need for intimacy. She needs to be shown love and tenderness. They need to be held and told they are beautiful. It’s a shame that so many husbands are too busy to pay attention to the wife of their youth.
  3. 5:33
  1. May our love always be a caring, sensitive love. Let us be in tune to the needs of the one we love.

 

  1. SUSTAINING LOVE
  1. 5:31
  2. Christ left His Father that He might be joined to His bride, the church.
  3. He goes back to the beginning, to the institution of marriage itself.
  4. Every couple should study the secret to a successful marriage in Genesis 2:24.
  5. Marriage begins with making all other relationships except the one with God second to the marriage.
  1. Parents, buddies, hunting, fishing, work, entertainment, kids, whatever.
  2. Unless one is willing to leave all else, that is make everything else second to the marriage the marriage will never be what it could have.
  1. Not must we leave but we must cling or cleave: cement together, stick like glue.
  1. They become one flesh.
  2. That is why divorce is so painful, what was once one flesh has been ripped apart.
  1. Love and commitment must be nurtured. Never allow the courtship to die. Spend time together, go out on dates together, etc.
  2. It takes love, hard work and commitment to have a sustaining marriage .

Conclusion:

  1. Paul explains that marriage is similar to Christ and Christians.
  2. No marriage is ever hopeless unless we accept is as so.
  3. If husbands and wives would look to God and follow His pattern, the divorce rate would plummet.
  4. Christ loved you enough to die for you, how much do you love Him?